As I am sitting here writing this, it has been 9 days since my mom suffered a brain bleed stroke. Yes, the highly critical, life threatening, she may never return to normal, kind of stroke.
My mom is the rock and the glue that keeps our family together.
She is the one to turn to when you have no clue what to do in life. She is the one who will drop everything when we need her.
She is a hard worker, loves her grandkids and lightens the mood with laughter when we are faced with adversity.
This powerhouse of a woman is only 75 years old. I really thought I would have at least 10 more good years with her. In fact, I had just been thinking, “I feel so disconnected from my roots, I should really make more of an effort to be with my family.’
A day or two after the stroke, reality started sinking in.
I started getting the mixed feelings of deep sadness and heightened anxiety. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and be alone to wallow in self pity. But, I have a husband and a life that needs me to be fully conscious and engaging in the moment, not revisiting old thoughts or behavior patterns.
I had to pull myself together and rise above my emotions.
I thought, “I am a Reiki master, meditation & yoga practitioner, I have the tools, and I needed to put them to use.
My reactions were normal-especially in light of the situation at hand—and I had to be kind to myself. So, that’s were I started. Instead of beating myself up or feeling regrets over things I didn’t do (like making more time with my mom), I started giving myself love, kindness and compassion.
I kept up my morning routine of journaling, finding gratitude even in the toughest of days and doing Reiki on myself as well as sending it out in the world.
Thoughts of worry were replaced with the affirmations: “My mom was in great hands, the doctors did amazing with the surgery, the nurses took really good care of her afterward and all the medicines she got were making her better and better.”
In the beginning I felt a little rocked but I added a couple of things that made me more rooted, grounded and stable.
1. Brought in the awareness of Faith. I asked for courage and strength to weather this storm—whatever the outcome—and had Faith God was there with me and my family.
2. Practiced a new grounding technique. Its a short 3-4 minute method of opening your chakras in the feet and exchanging energy with the earth. I love it and it has given me deep roots throughout this whole process.
3. Invited Reiki into every detail of what was going on around me. From the IV’s, to the medicine, to the nursing care to the drive to the hospital. I asked that the Divine be present in all that was happening.
4. Feeling like I was assisting her through the whole recovery by giving her Reiki in the ICU. I was able to be at the hospital so I could give my mom Reiki. Although I believe distance Reiki is just as effective, being with her for a few hours at a time delivering a continuous stream of healing energy made me feel on purpose!
These types of life events shake every individual and/or family. As a Reiki Master I feel that I have attained extra tools that have helped me stay strong, aid in healing and be a rock for the rest of my family as we go through this life altering event.
“I love you mom! You gave us the power of prayer and to have Faith in the Divine. I will forever be grateful!”