From the Diary of a Spiritual Warrior
I think my mom knew. I turned a blind eye to it. I didn’t want to ask the deeper questions that would provide me full disclosure of what was really going on.
My son was addicted to Heroin.
The whirl wind of emotions and questions that followed:
Embarrassment-We did not raise Jamie in a household that would foster drug use. Or did we?
Failure-As a parent. Where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong?
Anger-At myself for failing my son. What could I have done differently?
Hurt-My heart was ripped wide open knowing my son had to turn to drugs to ease pain that he experienced.
Guilt-For not seeing it and intervening.
My divorce finally over, I could finally see what was going on with my son. But, the pain I felt over the perceived failings of parenting left me tormented.
I fell into an old familiar friend-depression.
At that point, I thought I had all my tools of handling emotions in place. Self help books-check. Rosary beads-check. Positive affirmations-check. Regular church attendance-check.
But, none of these things were helping me ease the pain in my heart and soul. I wanted to rescue my son, take away all of the pain he felt inside, take the experience away, love him until this whole thing disappeared.
I prayed for an answer to : “What can I do to ease my own pain so that I can be strong enough for him?”
The answer came up subtlety-a whisper to my heart, “Reiki”.
What? Well I don’t know anything about it. But, in actuality, the subject had been dropped to me by a coworker months before. She had just mentioned it in passing.
I had to find out about it. What could it do for me? The coworker who had mentioned it, no longer worked with me, but her family was hosting a pig roast that I was invited to. I had to track her down. I had to find out what Reiki was. I had to find out if this could help me.
Thats how I was lead to Reiki. I found the practitioner who my coworker had gone to and went through a year of soul healing, There was so much blocked energy in my body. So many deep wounds, unresolved issues and stuffed emotions. The year of sessions didn’t totally heal me. Hell no, I was a mess. But, it did shift my life and put me down a whole new path.
Time and time again, I see how life unfolds in ways that are leading me to where I am suppose to be. If I hadn’t gone through such a difficult point in my life, I wouldn’t have sought out Reiki.
Or I should say, Reiki sought me out. I prayed. I cried. I even screamed at the Universe for some kind of reprieve from all the heavy emotions and tortuous thoughts. The answer came, as it always does. And, I was at the point where, heck, I would try anything because none of my usual practices were helping.
I am writing this on Thanksgiving Day, 2021, 10 years after discovering Reiki and I have never felt more grateful for the blessings it has given me.
May you discover what you need to heal and become whole on your journey ❤️🙏❤️