Well hello 2023, what do you have in store for me?
First off, this is my first writing of the year and, for that matter, my first writing in a very long time. You see, I had a dream at one point to be a writer who collects her fabulous journey and share wisdoms gained through that journey with the world. And, yet, I have not stayed the course because of, (input any reason here).
I sometimes wonder, was it a fleeting fancy? There was a time in my life that I loved to reflect and write stories on varying perspectives hoping, that in some way, I could leave an imprint on future generations (particularly my son and grandchildren).
Although writing hasn’t been a main focus for me lately, I still feel the stirrings of my original desires when I hear about people putting out a memoir or blogging about their life. So, I thought I would put a few things down to see where this leads me.
Over the course of the last month leading into the New Year, I have been searching for a path to follow. Oh, how this use to give me excitement. Where will I go? What will I do? What new things will I unfold in the upcoming year?
But, something changed in me. For some dumb reason, I am starting to feel my age (55) and feel that I am too old to explore life as I once did. You see, I was the kind of person to say, “Lets live now and worry about the rest later” just going off and do the thing. I felt living the experience was more important than focusing on making more money or working a consistent job to attain possessions.
Now, the thoughts that weigh down my thinking are, “How am I going to live in retirement?” Or, “I should be more responsible with money or make more money now to stash it away for retirement.”
Even worse, I compare myself to other people in my age group. Some people are retiring from their jobs (doing what with their lives, I am not sure). You hear them talking about nest eggs, cars and houses. Trips to warm places and maybe second houses in those warm places.
But, when I reflect on it, I never wanted all of those things. Nope. Material things do not bring fulfillment. Money and nest-eggs are false securities. Look at the Bernie Madoff debacle and how people lost a lifetime of savings. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a Ponzi scheme, our 401K’s could be lost in one volatile day of stock market trading.
So, here I am going to make an intentional shift from comparing and looking at others lives to coming back inward and asking what I want and what makes me happy.
The number one thing that I care most about is time freedom. The second is the freedom to do what I want to do. (I have both right now, why would I want to throw them away to gain the approval of anyone else? Or, the false belief that approval and acceptance makes my actions worthy of a life well lived?)
I digress so circling back to resolutions….I have read a couple of things lately from people saying that instead of doing New Years resolutions to change some aspect of their life, they are focusing on being more open to the world just as it is.
Instead of changing ourselves and/or our lives, we accept what is and be happy with it. (Why attempt change on something that is already perfect?) When I think about it in these terms, a weight is suddenly lifted from my shoulders. No more pressure to live life in a certain way or try to do more of this one thing or omit doing that other thing. I really love life just as it is. With all its ups and downs, messy situations and heartbreak. And, even more so, I love all of the laughter and magical surprises that endlessly show up!
Here is to 2023! Here is to being more open and free!
Much love,
Kelly